JANUARI
Berat bebanku
Meninggalkanmu
Separuh nafas jiwaku
Sirna…
Bukan salahmu
Apa dayaku
Mungkin benar cinta sejati
Tak berpihak
Pada kita
Reff:
Kasihku Sampai disini kisah kita
Jangan tangisi keadaannya
Bukan karena kita berbeda
Dengarkan
Dengarkan lagu…..lagu ini
Melodi rintihan hati ini
Kisah kita berakhir di Januari
Selamat tinggal kisah sejatiku..
errrrr…FEBRUARI takde???
I
Loving you is the greatest thing in my life and I’m really thankful for that. Do you know that I’ve fallen deeply for you? "We’ll be together forever," that’s what you always say, and it really melts my heart. I’ve tried many times to let go of this relationship, but every time when I think of it, I could feel thousands and thousands of needles pricking my heart; it hurts, it really hurts. It’s not because we don’t love each other, it’s just that I’m too late.
For the past 143 days, we laughed, we cried, we’ve been through lots of stuff, the more arguments we had, the closer we got. It has gotten to the extent whereby I cannot live without you by my side; I cannot imagine life without you, it’s horrible. I’m not sure what will happen but one thing I’m sure of is that the smile that I used to have will no longer be there.
"Life won’t be easy without you by my side, all the times you make things right. And I would forgo everything for you, would you too or would you even cry for me? And I, I’m still loving you, no matter where it takes me to … for as long as I can be by your side. And I, I’m still missing you, I will give my all to you, ’cause I know you’re true …" this is a song I wrote specially for you. It’s not completed yet. Hope you’ll like it.
I’m not the best girlfriend in the world, but I’m just a girlfriend who loves you very much. Hope you can really understand how I feel for you. As long as the river touches the sand, my love for you will never end.
-it was a touchable letter…..
Today i went to Pasir Mas Hospital for our OT day..i drove all the way…ehemm..alone..since this is my first time to HPM then i departed quite early from HKB. i went to HKB first to take some stuffs dat were needed for our op. there was 5 cases n all of them among the simplest which were plating and removing the implants..according to the roster, Zairuddin n me will did the op but unfortunately, he was on leave…n all of us did not know dat…as a result i was waiting there boredly..huhhh..after the MA of HPM called HKB, then Samsuddin came to replace him..he gave me some chances to do things dat i never done before since i’m in ortho deparment…i learnt drilling, screwing, measuring..i learnt how to fix the screws, how to implant the plate n haaaa…i did MATRESS suturing for the very first time…( it was one of my OSCE question actually which i dumbly did the other method- interupted )..the 5 cases was so speedy man…around 33o we had finished our op..but of course i left alone by him!!!…i got to settle few things before going back to HKB to return OT’s stuff and BHT + Xrays of the patient..
nway…my journey to HPM took around 25 mins in the morning n 40 mins in the afternoon..i enjoy the scenery when on my way to HPM today..it was so beautiful wv all the paddy field left and right me n not many on da road this morning…i hope i’ll get another chance to go there…erhmm..maybe once in da blue moonn…….
believe it or not..i’ve been working for one month oready..fheuuhhhh..wut a heck…so ape nak story glory nihh???well…so far i’m still enjoying my work n life in HKB…even sumtimes of coz i do feel down..sad ( sbb kena torture aa nih..)..but i think i still can survive in my orthopedic life…err..3 months to go..
emm…like other ppl said..when we’re working..nak tanak we have to deal wv some pt yg byk kerenah..n so do i..but wut to do..it’s my job kan..even i know there must b some pt dat hate me ( bukan pe sbb byk kali cucuk dia kot..muehehehe)..tp i have to do it laa..kena monitor blood dia..kena masukkan ubat sumer..so mmg kena wat la…so if depa nak benci pon..benci laa..but i admit…my relationship wiv my pt so far so good laa…mayb bcoz now i incharge in woman’s ward kan..so depa2 tuh dah jadik like my makcik2..adik2…and kakak2 laa…masa treat they all tu..i always imagine dat they r apart of my family..so i have to treat them well laa…but not over the limit..we as a doctor pon ada border gak laa wiv the pts tuh..klo tak for sure nnt involve emotionally n all..tuh lagik susah kann…so far, i’ve not treated my relatives yet..maybe sooner or later…how would it b kan…
about oncalls pulak…tak yah ckp laaa…evry 3 days mesti call skali..public holiday, dah onkol 3 weeks berturut2 daaa…ape leh wat..kita ni junior..so pe senior wat, takleh laa nak bersongel2 sgt..terima ajer laa kann…
wiv my MOs n specialist..erhmm..some of day very ok but some of them like *&^%….malas nak mampuss..geram gak kdg2..padahal depa sumer tuh dah tau we all ni baru first posting..tolong laa sket..ni always kitorg settle kan sendiri…yeaa..we did called them n consult them..tp at least come n see the patient la kan..tp xpe laa at least we have experiences laa dealing with those cases…
soo…tomorrow is saturday n its oso my working day tp half day je laa..slalunye we finished up our work in the ward before pass over to those yg oncall..actually best gak keje nih ( so far….)..like i dont my mind la even balik lmbt pon ( sebaik tak kawen lagi…..hehehe)..sbb if i did not finished my work kan, rasa nya if balik rumah sure rasa tak best..at least, dah settle keje sumer even tepaksa balik lmbt…tp when we rest kat rumah tuh, takde laa pk sgt hal keje kann…erhmm..wat can i say here SO FAR SO GOOD laa…juz..there are minor2 thing gak laa which always make me sickkk…but alhamdulillah is still can stand with it laaaa…..( thanx to those ppl dat always pray for me..)
okie dokie…i think dats all laa kot…laterrr…i’ll write again if i’m free kehhh….muahssss…
hey…wuts up…it has been a while since i last wrote in this blog kan…my life getting tougher n tougher every day…i learn new things everyday n have new experience every day n of course i get scolded everyday..hehehe…but the worst day was last friday..huh…so much thing happened to me that day..starting from 7:30 am to 730 am next morning…dat friday there was a lot of new cases admitted…lots of tragedy happened…n all happened during my VERY 1st time being 1st call in my 1st posting in my life..huhhhhh…feels like crying…feels like give up….feels like ****..sumer ada laaa….cant tell u the feeling of being me on dat day….i hope dat dat day wont happened to me again next time..i really wish for my good luck day everyday n i hope i’ll survive in my working life n in my life…i’Allah
onkol ngn mc laa esokkkkkk…..aiiii…semoga kami berjaya..gambate
well….i learnt a lot this 2 weeks…esp time jadik ‘dracula’…i’Allah got no prob laaa…managing pt bout ortho pon slow2 laaaa sket2…tp managing in medical prob tuh yg kureng sket since blom posting kann…so byk help from my junior MO laa so far..luckly i have them ( actually )..lately slalu gak kena manage sorg2 ward tuhh…tuh yg slalu kena gak ngn Mr Nordin…dia tuh klo silap sket sure tarik mukaa..pastu wat muka..pastu merajukk..pastuu…aaaa…aiyaaa…mood dia swing sket..he can b very nice person or other way round,…tuh yg ssh sket tuhh..aiii..kena laa tahan ngn dia nihh..dia mmg perfectionist laa i can say..bape kali aa dah kena sound ngn diaa..tp wat to do kann..dia mmg tak suke aku tny lebeh2 tp dah tak paham..takkan nak settle sorg2..so i really need him laa..kan..tp pedulik laaa…this is my time learning..so klo nak kena ‘bammboooo’ ponn….lantak larrrr…at least i learn something;)….
