thE beGInNinG oF LifE ~niSa~

"I’ve kissed a guy… I’ve kissed guys. I just haven’t felt that thing…. That thing… that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy, and the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that that person is the only person you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry, ‘cause you feel so lucky that you’ve found it, and so scared that it’ll go away all at the same time."

have u ever been kissed??

Dear D,

I love you from now until death do us part. Right now, you living so far away from me is killing me, but I know in my heart that we are doing the right thing. And, you are trying to get things straight so we can live there forever and spend a lifetime together. I don’t want to lose you for anyone else or anything that anyone has to say about you. I want you to know that I love you from the deepest part of my heart. My love for you is unconditional. The love for you is so strong and the most powerful feeling that I have had in a long time and I am just at a lost for words when it comes to you. I just wish that their was another way that we could be together without living so far apart right at the time being. I want you to know that I love you and always will and there is nothing that will ever change that about how I feel…I love you

                                                                          Loves, B..

my wish for this february, 14 2006..

just wana spend my time wv somebody i love..but i dont have that somebody to be wiv..so sad isn’t it..i always wish that someone will come to my door wiv a bouquet of roses….fresh red roses i mean.. n between them, there’s a not-a-fresh rose n a sweet card sounds like : my love for you dies when the last petal of these roses falls….sweet kan..

tracking my blogs..it has been 4 months now..i did complete my medical posting..today is my last day in medical department bcoz for the next 2 days i applied my holidays…but i’m not sure whether it’s going my holidays or wut..maybe i’ll go for work..or may be juz watching dvds…reading novels or do things dat i really wish to do..so..which department will i go after thiss..

yeaaa…da one n only posting during my housement year –> O&G…ppl says this posting is s bz s medical but it won’t ruin ur life…i dunno i have to experience it my self kan….

dunno how bz i am ( but 4 5 days..i’ll doing my tag for sure balik lmbt kan )…so i dunno what’s going to happen to me for the rest of my 4 month time..

well..medical posting is very interesting..variety of things to learn n being learnt..i learnt a lot in medical..i deal a lot wif dying ppl in medical, i play a lot with all procedure’s stuff and risky my selpf by using all the needles n sharp thing like branula, trocha n all…MO’s all are okey n some of them i really respect n knowledgable..n of course my specialist..but exclude my big boss..hehe..i dunno y so far i dont like my boss..hehehehe…..

so i hope when i’m in O&G later, i’ll enjoy this posting like my other 2 postingsss..i’Allah…

so…

last thursday was my last day in orthopedic department after about 4 months serving in dat department..so that thursday, i completed my log book n ask kak zarini, kak awi, syukri, sudha and Dz to sign my log book…oo and oso Mr Shah..hehe..pastu kena gak jmp Mr Anuar say thank you n sorry sumer…n last skali jmp Mr Nordin n Mr Sanusi..baru jer bkk pintu, daa Mr Nordin suh ajar plak camne nak wat cam aku present rituh..aiyaaa..tp disebabkan aku baik hati, aku ngajo laa diee..cam cikgu plak…hehehehe…

so abes da crita in orthopedic…so on sunday, i will b in medical department daa…deparment yg sumer org takut..yer larr very high rate of extend n all…tension ngn big boss….kerje truk start at 730 am…kaki amik blood n paling takut skali bout procedure like peritoneal dialysis, central line, chest tube, pleural tab…etc…hmmm..but nak tanak mmg kena hadapi jugerr…tp i have to think positively la kan…kena blaja sumer2 ni sbb nak help ppl…if tak wat sumer bende tuh, patient might b suffered..sian kan..juz imagine that patients are ur family members…sure kita nak wat the best for them kann…soo..pasni sure balik2 pon penat kerjers sumerr….balik at night sokmo pon tatauu..ntah laaarr…kena rasa lu then baru leh talk….

Andai sampainya waktu aku harus tinggalkan mu
Akan aku berlalu bila tiba saat itu
Tak guna kau merayu dan tak perlu menahanku
Kerana yang berlalu kehendakmu 

Hanya tuhan yang lebih tahu
Susah senang hidup dengan mu
Sumpah janji semakin layu
Hingga kini jatuh satu persatu
Engkau membiarkan ku 

Air mata bertamu tidak kenal erti jemu
Menemani hatiku tidak mengenal ruang waktu
Mengapa dari dulu tak kau kata kan padaku
Kehadiranku ini menyusahkan 

Yang terhalang kejujuranku
Dan yang terbilang kesilapanku
Memang payah dimengertikan
kerana tertutup pintu hati mu
Terima penjelasan 

Biar apa jua tafsiran
Yang ingin kau nyatakan
Aku rela terima semua….

p/s : tiba2 cam ske nak dgr lagu nih…

it’s good to have a good fren like him, a good listener, always b there whenever she need somebody, a good adviser… Not like her bf, hot-tempered, selfish, not consider his gf at all, bossy, controller…demnnnn!..and i’m sure, her bf will lost her and regret later because of his behavior….

post call penat seh….esp EOD call..rasa nak tumbang sekarang juger…

oRthoPediC…

hmmm….nak dekat2 abes ortho ni, rasa cam sedeh la pulak…all bos ngn mo’s pon makin jadi baik laa nampak..sumer jadik benign la pulak..even ada la sorg tuh yg..uishh..aku mmg hangin ngn Pok Ya ni..suke carik pasal…aku mmg melawan laa ngn mat sorg tuh..ske carik gaduh yerr..cam bagus sgt..glad masa die masuk, aku pon nak berambus daa..klo tak, mmg aku ngn dia bertekak sokmo laaarrrr….nway…juz forget bout him….

so per yg best nak crita  ni?erhmmm…dunno laa..today quite sleepy la sket..last nite OT abes at 2 am gak..carik half needle dlm kaki budak, tak jumpe2 even under II dahhh..nasib laa..so kitorg treat conservatively by antibiotic…by 4-5 days nnt, will developed abscess, then kluar la kot jarum tuh agaknyee….cian adik tuhhh…..

why eh?aaa….i feel happy on wednesday larrr…eventhough i have to present my orthopedic CME, femur shaft fracture, tp tak kena bamboo laarr..rasa funs jer today..bos pon okey jer rini ( maybe sbb fest day puasa kot..hehe)…pastu bos2 len pon, siap de wat teaching2 gik…mr sanusi pon takde bising2, mr nordin lagik arrr…hehehe…ehemm..ada MO baru laa from putrajaya..hehehe…nama pe ntah..haiyaa..nape time aku nak kuar, dia baru masukk..kacauu laaaaarr…:p..pas abes berdebar present tuh, berdebar kat grand round pulak..haiyaaa..

cuak gak sbb bukan sumer kes aku buat summary kan..adoi larrr….masa fest2 kat wad 30-28 tuh, boss nmpknye takde…as well as kat anggerik..so mmg lega abes larr….then masa nek dahlia ada fon call from bos, tny kat ner…laa..die join round kerr…haiyaaa..abesss..finishh daaaaa….so mmg kena gak la ngn dia suh read lumbar xray…uiyooo…cam takleh caya, sume org dok tolong2 gak laa including mr suresh daaaaa…..hehehehe…aa..selit sket pasal MO baru tuh..nmpk cam baik jer, tp kerek2 gak kot rasanya..asik dok "adik..adik" jerr…sape ntah adik diee…pastu asik dok tanya "kes apa"..lerrr..tgk laa sendirikkk…pastu dok tanya "plan..plan" pulak daaaaaa…dia kan tinggi melangit,pndi2 ler tgk pe yg aku tulish tuhhh..hehehe…

okey…pastu p laa kat teratai plakk..sbaik si naiemy dah wat summary..plus summary aku jugak plus summary kak huda wat.sebaik laa asiah ngn huda tlg haku present gak..klo dak, nganga gak sbb cuti yesterday kan….tp mmg tak kena bamboo by boss laa..lega la jugakk…sbaik mr yaacob pon adaaa..hehhe

pastuh dah abes round tuh, aaaa..so nak p la kat kereta..pastu si MO tuh tny laa ptg rabu slalu wat per…then ckp la bout radiologist conference tuh, ptt de every 2 weeks kann…since ptg td takde, ada patut die nak p tidooo…haiyaaaa…hehehe

ptg tuh, byk laa jugak kerjer nyaa…mr shah nak round ptg..ade lakkk…..pastu kerjer berlambak2 laa pulakk…

n the conclusion is..today is fun..no more "hari rabu my sad day"…….

pastu cam sedeh la pulak nak left orto punya posting nihhhh…..i really enjoy la this posting..if mr anwar nak extend aku pon takper…tp tak mo laa lama2 sgt…hehehe